CUDDLR PROFILE

[buenpastor]

FATHER TOMÁS ORTEGA (33) A Calvin Klein ad, a lamb, and your therapist walk into a bar. Actually, they’re all just one person. It’s this person. You’re looking at him. Runner, romantic, inexplicable Nicolas Cage aficionado. Catholic priest and celibate as a result. In all seriousness, looking to lend a patient ear to those in need. An intentional curator of safe spaces. Swipe for advice and kindness. Could absolutely use a bit of sport as well, though, so also swipe if you’re fun.

✓ ✕

YES
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NO
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Comments

[depressiveoptimist]

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[Kieren has had some really bad experiences with religious figures due to what he is.

But the fact that he's listed as celibate makes him want to check yes. Because it isn't like his own body works for that, so it might be easier to gain incentive with someone who isn't going to get upset over him not being able to...perform.]

[buenpastor]

[ Tomas has no idea of how to deal with this, but the profile isn't wrong and he does want to help, so. ]

Hello. I apologize for my profile.

[depressiveoptimist]

It's fine. Figured someone else would have written it for you. Surprised my sis didn't try to write mine, really.

[buenpastor]

[ Speaking of, he checks Kieren's profile. 'Undead' ok. Ok this is normal. On the internet no one can see you claw at your own face in confusion. ]

This was sophisticated bullying, I didn't intend to make an account but I guess it's how people meet people here.

[ikols]

[ Never let it be said he isn't fun. ]

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[buenpastor]

[ DOES THIS APP LET YOU REPLY WITHOUT MARKING YES OR NO? LET'S FIND OUT. ]

If you're doing this because you're taking the celibacy bit as a challenge, please don't.

[ikols]

Wouldn't dream of it, Tom!
Unless that's a backhanded invite ;-D

[buenpastor]

It very much isn't. Cheating on God with another god would be extra bad.

[ look loki, the priest has a sense of humor. sort of. it's a coping mechanism versus this whole alternate realities thing and also he studied different pantheons and loki's profile is just.

why. why are norse gods a thing. ]

[init]

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Why are there so many priests around here nowadays?

[buenpastor]

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There are more? I'm very new, I thought it was only Marcus and myself.

[init]

Two seems like a lot, no?

I'm not used to an abundance of collars.

[buenpastor]

Oh, it's only one collar. Marcus was excommunicated recently.

[ marcus wrote that much in his own profile, so tomas is ok with sharing it. ]

[easyknives]

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[buenpastor]

[ billy pls. pls billy. ]

Are you doing this for fun?

[easyknives]

[ What. He's being serious. Mostly. Tho the timing is suspect. ]

No.

[buenpastor]

Okay. Is there anything I can help you with?

[ghani]

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[ Ghani found his profile through the post made by Marcus, so she is mostly swiping because she couldn't resist the opportunity to be a little shit. ]

[buenpastor]

Are you swiping for advice or fun?

[ghani]

Fun, I need no advice at present.

[redhott]

✓

will you be kind to ppl already damned?

[buenpastor]

[ Wow, starting out strong. ]

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I wouldn't have the chance to, as anyone already damned would be in hell. But I would do my best to be, if the opportunity presented itself.

[redhott]

[ Yeah, Kyle's identity crisis is strong and dramatic. At age eighteen, you might as well go big or go home. ]

ok

hi Im Kyle

[buenpastor]

Hi Kyle. Would you like to talk? Texting is fine too, but if you'd rather do something less impersonal, I never mind phone calls or meetings.

[agitater]

[ look, she still doesn't fully understand this, but you're supposed to swipe to actually talk to people, right? so: ]

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[victimized]

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nicolas cage, really?